Asshole No More (The Asshole Saga Book 1) by Xavier Crement

Author:Xavier Crement [Crement, Xavier]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Enthea Press
Published: 2012-05-26T04:00:00+00:00

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10 The New Age Asshole

Put this in your chakras and spin it. —Shirley M., flipping the “bird” to a fundamentalist.

Just as the holy asshole can find no good in anyone, there is also a species of person who can find nothing bad in others—or so they claim, until you cross them. These are the children of the New Age. They positively believe that God is bursting out everywhere, making everything and everyone perfect right now. It is therefore enough just to be here now.

At first glance, many of these people just seem to be fools—not assholes. They will believe in any freak in a sheet that comes along, with or without Rolls Royces. They are original subscribers to the “Fad of the Month” club, and have probably practiced some form of martial art. They may or may not eat meat, but they most assuredly drink lots of carrot juice and sometimes take their coffee by enema (without sugar, of course). Most of them live in California.

But once you get past the fools, you will find that many of the people in the New Age are just as big assholes as anyone in the Old Age. For starters, the term “New Age” itself is somewhat arrogant, as applied by its proponents. They reject the Establishment and everything it stands for, preferring to create a whole new utopia where everything is perfect and nothing out of harmony. This, indeed, was a popular idea back in the 1960’s. The number of communes still in operation from that time gives a pretty good indication of how well­founded the New Age is.

Actually, nothing in the New Age is new. It is an odd amalgam of ancient ideas and practices, most of which should be left to ancient history.

It may be a good idea to remember that two of the “patrons” of the New Age were Timothy Bleary, a burned­out druggie, and Bagman Rajneesh, a collector of very expensive toys. These are two of the mega­assholes on which many smaller, flaming assholes based their own schemes to milk the New Age.

This is the New Age asshole—the uninspired, unenlightened huckster who can recognize a profitable fad when he sees one, and promote the hell out of it. One year, it may be classes in assertiveness training, the next it may be seminars in past life recall or channeling for fun and mischief. But it preys upon the gullibility of human nature as well as our desire to become better and happier people.

These people hide behind a basic spiel that God is everywhere; all we need to do is to tap into this cosmic connection and we can be in tune with whatever and whomever we desire. If we need money, we just tune in to it and draw it to us. If we need love, the same. We converge harmonically, and all is well.

This type of bland belief in the wonderful nature of life is, of course, appealing to many people. But it is very dangerous, because it lets good people be hypnotized by assholes in guru’s sheets.

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